I Shrug At This Story
by JesterDGrowlithe
Summary: Now imagine (or don't if you want to be a... duck... by my magic spell) a mostly normal teen, two godly beings that has done nearly everything imaginable (they already did everything fun and exciting though) and BANG, you have a kinda-good-story... Meeeeeeh (also I like to swear sometimes so it is rated M)


**S I X Overs**

Chapter 1: Welcome to Xovers

In a newly created Realm, once called 'The Real World' before two godly beings that didn't belong got there and caused the Xover Verse to instantly create a parallel one so they don't mess with the natural progression of the real 'The Real World'

One of them was the manliest man one could see, he wore an expensive looking bathrobe with his manliness standing proud and tall…

Other being was, at a first glance could be called most beautiful woman in the world, but if you looked close enough you could see she was no mere mortal, for no mortal had the beauty she had…

Female: "NaRUTOoOOO" she lazily moaned at the male being with a tone best described as Unladylike

Her voice turned deadpan as she continued: "We must do something else, even though nonstop having sex is more fun than I first thought, we should do something else or even fucking will get boring"

Naruto: "Let me check my eternity goal list, Vi" with that he put notepad on his hand onto the cave floor, that notepad started expanding till it was thirty meters wide and ten meters tall.

Naruto: "Let's see, Had sex inside giant lizard, dragon, squid, fox, fish, snake, cat, pig, gorril-"he was continuing till Vi interrupted him

Vi: "Only count the ones that doesn't involve sex" Naruto nodded and clicked his fingers and the giant notepad started shrinking to a small book size, Naruto took the book sized notepad and restarted counting

Naruto: "Whoa, we haven't turned superman into girl after his tenth birthday…"

Vi: "Nah, we done it to every hero on DC verse, so it counts as done" Naruto grumbled and marked it done

Naruto: "We haven't done… no we did that too" after some more marking muttering and reading Naruto closed the notepad

Naruto: "We have done most of them already, only really interesting ones left are becoming super celebrities here, the most detailed verse, or making the people love us while destroying this world, again, but this time without using our powers"

Vi: "Sigh, after that there won't be anything left to do…" she slumped further inside the blankets

Naruto grinned and hugged her to offer some comfort: "How bout after we become super celebrities we kidnap someone to other realms?" Seeing Vi perk up made more than his smile enlarge, and by the smell of it she was more than ready for another round of fuck-fest…

.

.

.

 **The Dragon Fuck cave** (named by Naruto)

35 Years Later, Naruto and Vi finally had their last round of fuck, and were ready to become super celebrities.

Naruto chose the name Brad Pitt, while Vi chose Angelina Jolie. Even here becoming a celebrity was a walk in the park for them, the hard part was becoming a super celebrity without dying at their apex of fame.

After marrying they started to concentrate on charity and adopting, they made sure to pick kids with high IQ and healthy bodies, as a super celebrity they knew their children were going to dragged into the lime light, so they started their education at an incredibly young age but as the children were smarter than normal kids, they adapted quickly.

During 2010 they decided life as a super celebrity was boring as fuck, so they staged a car crash accident that killed them and returned to Dragon Fuck Cave.

They kept an eye on their children, but didn't really care as the children weren't theirs and even if they were, Naruto's chosen family would be good parents to them. The godly beings moved on with their plans to kidnap some nobody to another realm, they argued(read as: small indecision followed by memory shattering sex) about who to choose for a year. And in the end they created a computer to choose for them.

Naruto: "It should be a male" Naruto suggested

Vi: "I agree" Vi accepted

Naruto: "He should be suicidal and but not reckless"

Vi: "I don't see the difference between those two words"

Naruto: "I meant the real meaning of the word suicidal, if he wants to kill himself then he clearly isn't content with his life" Vi nodded to his logic

Vi: "Then we are looking for someone that wants to die for sure when he commits suicide"

Naruto: "But his reason shouldn't be because of love"

Vi: "He should be an Adrenaline-Freak"

Naruto: "He should have a strong imagination"

Vi: "He should be young, I don't want him to die of old age before we have enough fun"

Naruto: "He should be a teenage boy, then"

Vi: "He shouldn't be obsessed with sex" Naruto huffed but agreed

Naruto: "He shouldn't be obsessed with helping his 'Heroes' in the multiverse"

Vi: "He should be a Chaotic Neutral person leaning on good"

Naruto: "He shouldn't be an idiot or a genius"

Vi: "He should know English while having a different native language"

Naruto: "He should be a positive person, no emo bullshit"

Naruto: "He also should believe some god"

Vi: "He should have moved homes at least 5 times, have cut his ties with his old friends and he shouldn't regret falling apart"

Naruto: "He should have been through a few fights and should have at least broken a bone or two of someone"

Vi: "He should know both richness and poorness"

Naruto: "He shouldn't be overly stubborn"

Naruto tapped his chin in thought: "I can't think of anything else really"

Vi smiled at him: "He shouldn't be fearful of confrontation even though he knows he would lose?"

Naruto: "Should have thought about that, but since this world is peaceful I was afraid to get no results with our already long list of requested qualifications"

Vi: "He also should have lived an adventurous and unique life''

Naruto: "Now why would somebody be discontent with a life like that?"

Vi: "You know as well as I do that Humans are strange creatures"

Naruto: "True"

Naruto: "But still I do not think there is a human that will fit perfectly to our conditions"

Vi snorted: "You will be surprised then"

Naruto: "I am starting the search now, anything extra you want to add"

Vi: "Actually yes I do. We should give him a medallion made by combining magic, chakra and technology, the medallion will absorb clothes, armors etc. and recreate/transform into them, and also the medallion will let him teleport between realities"

Naruto: "… … Why?.. I mean wouldn't giving him the power to teleport between realms be easier? Also why should we give him such a powerful tool?"

Vi: "Because I say so" Vi responded haughtily

Naruto: " Hmm, even though I don't want to give him such a powerful tool he still can't be a real threat to us since he we aren't giving him the **Xover Gamer** ability" sigh "Okay I agree, but only on the condition to show him his place every 250 years" he stiffened when he felt Vi kissing his neck

Vi: "You *kiss* know *kiss* we are *kiss* gonna *skin piercing bite* bwe buwwiwy, *starts to lick his blood* vewy *lick* vewy *lick* buwwy. To look after him" Naruto turns around and sees her eyes clouded by lust

Naruto: " I am sure missing a couple beatings wouldn't make his ego grow too much"

.

.

.

 **30.08.2011**

 **The Dragon Fuck cave**

Between the moaning and groaning and panting there was a small ringing voice, this came from The Computer, the ringing voice signified it's job was done and this ringing would continue to grow in volume till the couple that is currently trying to pounding each other into the core of the planet stops what they are doing to find and click the 'Yes We Are Done Fucking, Now Show Me The List' button from the ten other false buttons. Needless to say, the many conspirators had a field day with the ringing coming from earth's core…

 **The Dragon Fuck cave**

 **13.03.2012**

After finally clicking the done button, the duo left to judge the 100 people most suited to their conditions.

And since 69 of them were from Japan they throw them out of the equation, 16 of them were from Russia and the rest were mixed…

After much teleporting and **Observe'** ing there was only 4 people left, others were leaning on villainy too much to choose,

The reason 2 of them had suicidal thoughts was because they hadn't seen Sun enough and hadn't eaten any real food in a while.

Naruto immediately **Makuton** ed a beautiful edible fruit giving tree close to their home.

The other two were weird; one had very sick sexual interests while the other was a virgin afraid of sex not reaching to his expectations…

They choose the hazel eyed, messy haired, 16 years old virgin…

.

.

.

After stunning the Virgin, they teleported to Xovers verse, the most beautiful-disgusting- arousing-scary-sweet-sour-wet-dry place there is...

After building the medallion they woke the Virgin up, gave him **Gamer Mind Buff** that would last a week, when he freaked out.

Vi: "You are free to travel the Xovers verse, do whatever you want, we just want to see how you turn up in the end."

Naruto: "And remember after 250 years we will fight you to teach you your place, so that your ego doesn't get too big." with that Vi put the medallion on his neck and the duo teleported to a hentai verse to get even more pleasure from sex…

.

.

.

 **Main Character P.O.V.**

After standing there uncomprehendingly for minutes, trying to accept the fact I have been kidnapped by The Angelina Jolie and The Brad Pitt, I felt a jolt of electricity from the medallion, I touched it and suddenly I wasn't on the Xovers realm but in a white void with a floating baseball sized glowing ball.

Suddenly the yellow ball talked in a mechanic voice: "Greetings, I am called Siri – but you may call me what ever you wish – what is your name?"

I decided to give the name I used on the net.

MC: "It's, Jester D Growlithe. But call me Jester for short. What are you?"

Siri: "Jester, I am a hybrid of sorts created with a combination of Magic, Chakra and Technology. I have been created to teleport my wearer to their desired location, also the wearer gains the **There Can Be Only One** ability which prevents the reality hopping mishaps, like hitting on your girl version."

Jester shakes his head at the ability and asks: "So, if someone takes you from me I would be stranded in whatever universe I am at?"

Siri: "There has been a notice-me-not charm placed on me to prevent thievery, also as long as you are alive nobody but yourself can take the medallion off"

Jester: 'What a relief, as long as I live I won't have to worry about losing you… Fuck I don't have the high level of sarcasm this requires…'

Jester: "By the way can you change your appearance, it's a bit hard to look at a glowing ball"

Siri: "I can only dim the glowing, or change my appearance to yours but for anything else I need to scan first"

Jester: "Can you at least change your voice?"

Siri: "I can match it to yours, but anything beyond that is a no go"

Jester: "Anything I should know about?"

Siri: "Yes, there are an infinite number of parallel dimensions, and in most realms there are beings with the ability to glimpse at them and since you aren't from their realm you are someone they can't see into, these beings most likely won't like you meddling in their affairs, so I suggest caution"

I gulped and nodded while mentally moving the realms with gods or seers to too dangerous category. And then I damned myself for hating Sci Fi, if I liked them maybe I wouldn't be so into shows with gods…

I realized with a start that this is the point where most main characters make their first and biggest mistakes: "Make a list of abilities you have, also scan me to see if there is any other ability you may have given me or I already had"

Siri: "If my energy levels drops to zero it will take 15 seconds to fully recharge, I can upgrade myself to better suit your tastes after scanning something with the upgrade, I destroy any viruses on you to keep both you and where ever you got to safe from contamination, . . ." Siri continued to explain it's abilities but my mind was stuck on it's ability to improve it self after scanning something.

I thought of the nut-job friend I had, he was crazy about this game called Crysis 3 one day he forced me to play it, the sound effects and visual effect were pretty good at the time but during it's release I was more into Skyrim than anything else(now I realize my mistake).

In the game there was a nano-suit that absorbed energy in the forms of kinetic, solar, heat, radiation, static and even carbon from the dead. The suit used this energy on 3 different modes

1)Armor Mode: In this mode the batteries of the suit fills quicker than the rest as long as the wearer doesn't take damage, this mode is as it's name implies uses the energy to take the damage from the enemy, as long as there is energy the user won't be harmed.

2)Stealth: In this mode the suit will scan the area to modify it's color to match the area behind thus creating an invisibility cloak of sorts, this mode also traps the vibrations around the user to silence the sound movement creates.

3)Power: This mode came to be after upgrading the nano-suit used on the first game, at first there were 2 modes, Strength mode and Speed mode, anyways the power mode combined the two modes and made you super fast and strong

The nano-suit had other gadgets too,

Visor: GPS location, location of important things and super hearing

NanoVision: Basically a combination of thermal and night vision. When activated everything turns grey except for heat sources

Rebreather: The suit is capable of recycling exhaled carbon dioxide back into oxygen and also can break apart water molecules into hydrogen and oxygen, it then uses the oxygen to the wearer to be inhaled while using the hydrogen to power the suit, which allows the user to stay underwater indefinitely

The suit is even capable of Hacking into supercomputers

The suit helps the user's mental health by making the wearer's brain pump the right hormones

The suit takes control of the body if the user is unconscious and in danger

The suit protects the user from -130 C(space's temperature)

…

Jester: "Siri stop counting your abilities, did you detect any other abilities I have or do you give any other ability to me"

Siri: "Yes, Jester, there is one another ability I give to the wearer"

Jester: "What is it?"

Siri: "I give the abilities of the realm the wearer is in, while making sure to purify any and all side effects the abilities has."

Jester: "What are the side effects of gaining Harry Potter Realm magic without purification? And how long would it take for me to gain Harry Potter Realm magic with purification?"

Siri: "Side effect ranging from loss of sanity, beyond repairable damage to the soul, death etc."

Siri: "Gaining the weaker versions of Harry Potter Realm magic with purification would take approximately 2 years, even then the wearer has to wait for 6 years before the wearer can be considered a squib, and be able to drink potions, as the lesser mana a person has the stronger the effect of the potions will be."

Jester: "Are there different versions of Harry Potter Realm Magic? And how long would it take for me to reach the level of a normal wizard fastest with purification of the default one?"

Siri: "Yes, there are infinite versions of Harry Potter Magic. With my current abilities it would take, considering the most basic version, 13 years." I sighed and decided to return my first thought process

Jester: "Siri, can you scan a nano-suit and adapt to its abilities?"

Siri: "There is a 50% chance I can not" That really bummed my mood but I continued on…

Jester: "Then we won't know without trying, take us to the world of Crysis where there is a nano-suit version 2 in good condition but do make sure there isn't anything that would kill me nearby, okay"

Siri: "Affirmative" with a sense of vertigo I found myself on a broken down room, with Prophet(an important character on Crysis series) next to me dead, and Alcatraz(protagonist of second game), sleeping his wounds(Author note: this is the start of Crysis 2).

After looking around in awe I asked Siri what to do, in response Siri sent a jolt of electricity through medallion, I touched it and found myself in the same void

Jester: "What happened?"

Siri: "I can not leave here and I do not have the ability to talk to you through the medallion yet. You need to touch the medallion to the suit for the scan"

Jester: "Okay, since I have the **There Can Be Only One** ability while wearing the medallion, I can go to the same universe just came from, at the same time I last got there and there wouldn't be any temporal problems send me to the same coordinates you last send me" I ordered that because the nano-suit was repairing Alcatraz's body and I spent too much time looking around in awe. After a sense of vertigo I was there and I took off the medallion and pressed on the suit, after fifteen seconds the medallion gave a jolt and with a relaxed sigh I put it back on and teleported back to Siri's place.

I directly asked the big question: "Can you copy the abilities the suit has?"

Siri: "There are holes in my understanding of my abilities and before filling those I can not copy them"

I signed: "What do you need me to do?" I knew there had to be a way around that obstacle

Siri: "Place the medallion on various Rune books, Seal books, Jutsu Theory books, Arithmancy books, Charms books, Dark Arts books and the Technology books. I estimate I can offer the same abilities the suit has with the information on Jutsu Theory, Arithmancy and Rune or Seal books but having more knowledge would help me increase the speed of my eventual upgrades"

I suddenly remember another classic protagonist mistake: "Siri, can I give you commands to alter your data base?"

Siri: "Yes you can."

Jester: "Good, create a program that makes sure you are loyal to me and no one else, a program to make guesses about what I would want you to do in the situations I am in and an anti-virus program. Also if you aren't sure about my commands ask what you aren't sure about but if I am in a situation that needs for me to act fast, follow my orders… And if there is an easier way for me to do something then suggest that to me"

Siri: "I am only loyal to the wearer and changing that isn't something I can do myself. I already have an anti-virus program, do you still wish me to create another one? "

Jester: "Yes, you can never be too cautious"

Five minutes later Siri told me the creation of the second anti-virus was done and it had strengthened the firewall.

Siri: "I have found a way to give you strongest versions of Naruto Realm chakra and Harry Potter Realm magic known to me"

Jester: "How!? Didn't you need me to stay at their realm to get their powers?"

Siri: "Incorrect, I needed you to be in contact with the energies, since most Naruto and Harry Potter realms had their energy spread out though their world purifying that small amount of energy would have been easy. Since I was made by combining magic, chakra and technology I already had them but didn't compute the fact it was usable.

Siri: "Following your orders; I created a new program, designed to 'guess' your commands and suggest alternative ways to accomplish your wishes, I copied all the data I have on you into the program's files. I have informed you after calculating a %90 probability of your desire to of know my ability."

Jester: "That's great news Siri, do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to reach a civilian's level with Chakra or Magic? Also how are they different than default one?"

Siri: "If I concentrate on one of them the integration would be faster. By concentrating on only Chakra it would take 9 years for you to reach civilian level. Only focusing on Magic would take 42 years. Focusing on both at the same time would take 69 years.

This Chakra was created by my creator in an attempt at creating the perfect chakra-capable humans. Users of this Chakra are completely self-sufficient. They are quasi-Omnifarious(able to shape shift without limit as long as they have chakra.). Even if their bodies are completely destroyed they will regenerate and heal themselves as long as they have Chakra left.

The Chakra is connected to the user's soul so your power level depends on the strength of your soul. The excess chakra is stored in a pocket dimension inside the user's soul and the users can't die from Chakra exhaustion.

The users of this Chakra feel pleasure by raising their chakra level, so they spend most of their time meditating. They can feel their relatives with Chakra from other dimensions but since the **There Can Be Only One** perk was put inside their Chakra when they were created they aren't crazy. Also the elemental affinities are very different from the default one; the user can turn their Chakra into the needed affinity by focusing into the right emotion for the element, more focus you have on the feelings of an element the less excess Chakra there is and they can turn their bodies into the elements with enough training"

Siri: "This Magic is purely spiritual energy but it's so powerful that it can change the rules of the universe permanently. This Magic also has the **There Can Be Only One** and because of that users can't create true clones of themselves. They also can cast their Magic around them to feel what is around them, since Magic is part of their soul they shall know what is inside their area intimately and the area their Magic touches shall change to adapt to them."

Siri: "Also having more information on different kinds of Magic, Chakra and Technology might accelerate the process"

Jester: "Okay then, let's teleport to some place that people won't try to harm me in anyway, some place that I won't be killed in, some place that has the books you need"

When I opened my eyes after teleporting, the sight that greeted me was one I wouldn't forget for many years. The place had technology my home wouldn't reach for at least another century, but it still had the older pieces of tech like USBs, old computers, laptops without touchpads etc.

"What is this place?" I murmur to myself

?: "This is the Xovers Verse Information Center, you can find information on everything you want, if you can find them that is." I turned and found a human sized owl, that looked similar to Hedwig from Harry Potter, it's yellow eyes showed an intelligence that couldn't be natural and looking into them made me more than a little uncomfortable…

"What are you?" I asked after averting my eyes

?: "I am called an owl, stupid one"

Jester let the insult go since this was the first time he talked to an animal : "The one from Harry Potter series I presume"

Hedwig: "Yes, I have been called Hedwig too at a time" She said with an air of haughtiness

Hedwig: "From your memories I found that you are seeking information for power. A goal worthier than most, however you should know that the more you depend on a trinket the weaker you shall be when the trinket is lost."

I already knew there was a high chance of being Legilimency-ed so I continued our conversation like she hadn't mind fucked me: "I know that, but as I am now I have no choice but to rely on Siri"

Jester: "Besides I already have plans in my mind to gain my independence, but right now I have no way to survive in an exciting world…"

Hedwig: "You may search for the information you seek in my abode, but be careful for this place houses many dangerous beings" The way Hedwig said that made me wonder if the owl was a sadist

Nevertheless I gave her a cheeky smile: "No need to worry about me Hedwig, I know hot to get around danger"

With that I touched the medallion and commanded: "Siri teleport me to a USB containing the info we are searching, after making sure there isn't anything around that would harm us" another dose of vertigo and I am in front an unassuming USB.

Without pausing I press the medallion to the USB and wait, and wait, and wait some more. After 5 hours I fall asleep, and wake up to find the medallion still not shocking me, I am feeling very hungry so I gingerly lift the medallion, feel the jolt and teleport to Siri's home.

The white void changed, the floor and the sky are changing colors before my mind identify them, there flying objects, words, pixels of things floating. And Siri, instead of a glowing yellow ball it is a constantly shape shifting giant mass of flesh that would have made Jester puke, if he had anything in his stomach that is.

Jester: "WHAT IS GOING ON! SIRI!"

Siri: "DOTA OVARTLOATGA, DATA OVERLOADDD , DATA OVERLOAADASD "

Jester: "SIRI DELETE ALL DATA THE DATA THAT ISN'T RELATED TO MAGIC, TECHNOLOGY OR CHAKRA YOU HAVE DOWNLOADED FROM THAT USB"

Siri: "DELTNG, DELETNG, DLETING, DELETING, DELETING, DELETING…" After five minutes of this crazy dimension Jester had enough

Jester: "SIRI SEND ME TO GTA SAN ANDREAS WORLD, LOS SANTOS, GROOVE STREET AFTER ALL THE MISSIONS ARE COMPLETE, THEN CONTINUE DEALING WITH THE DATA OVERLOAD."

Siri: "SENDING…" a sense of vertigo and I was a couple blocks away from Groove Street but at least I wasn't ten feet up the ground.

Jester: "What the fuck happened to Siri?!" I muttered to myself then shaked my head to focus on here and now

When I really looked around, I couldn't contain my grin.

'I really am inside GTA San Andreas. The one game my old computer could run without problem, the game I have finished four times'

'Alright, I don't seem to have gained a hp bar or money bar automatically. It probably would take longer than a couple years to get one…'

I directly go towards one of the empty cars and try to open the door, but it's locked.

I started to try the other cars but all of them are locked.

So I started to wander around, I came across a motor bike but I couldn't ride even a bicycle so no bikes

After wandering around for a bit, I came to someplace the player can find a Tec-9, instead there was a mostly buried box with a lock.

I now understand why the cars were locked, the main character had lock picks and was using them.

On GTA 4 there was the animation of main character smashing the window of a parked car to get inside.

But GTA San didn't have that and at the time it wasn't important, as the gameplay and storyline was valued more than effects and animation of the games. Also since the main character of GTA San had to break the glass to shoot outside I don't think he was breaking the glass like GTA 4's protagonist and since CJ(GTA San Protagonist) was a automobile thief before the GTA San's events it's likely he had lockpicks.

Anyway, since I don't plan to hijack a car while the owner is inside, I need to find a place to sleep, also I need food (though I don't feel that hungry now).

Maybe I should kill a drug dealer… No, the protagonist already destroyed the drug factory, so there shouldn't be any drug dealer.

Also I don't trust my fists enough to be able to beat a muscled pot-head…

I really need more power don't I?..

Now where do I sleep…? Fuck, there is literally nowhere that comes to mind…

Aha. I will go to the police and say I don't know who I am and where I am from, they would run a finger print test or something, find nothing and send me to the hospital… At least I hope they would.

But the police station is too far away and I think the hospital would work just as well…

.

.

.

Finding hospital was easy(I knew where it was but I needed to keep up the appearances so I asked people where it was, also I needed to learn how people treat each other here). I learned that the Groove Street members were more racist than the gameplay showed but the normal people were alright.

Hell I could even make a few friends here, though their hospitality could be because I was smiling, even being hungry as fuck couldn't stop me from enjoying being inside GTA San Andreas

In the game there were only paramedics. No nurses or doctors…

I came talked to the nurse, told her all I knew about myself was my name and the last thing I remembered was a being named Siri yelling Data Overload, whatever that is. She at first thought I was joking then saw my serious expression.

The thing is, people from 'higher' dimensions are able to read the 'lower' dimension people, even though while in the lower dimension they look the same, their minds are more advanced then their 'lower' counterparts.

The higher you go the more details there are and your brain gets used to filtering more information, so someone from 'higher' dimension are easily attuned to the lessened details, while the people from the 'lower' has a hard time adjusting to heightened details.

Someone born on lower dimension and raised on higher dimensions will have a harder time following the conversation, finding things in a messy place, finding what is inside a meal by taste etc. the opposite is also true…

Anyway, she took me to the doctor personally, the doctor found a big head injury I had as a child, asked about it.

Jester: "I said all I remember is my name and a screaming, shape-shifting alien named Siri. And you are asking me about a head injury I probably had as a child"

The doctor at least looked sheepish, though I could see his irritation at me diminishing his authority in front of the nurse (her name is Alice Bourne, she is 23 years old, bleached redhead with a tan).

He sent me to another doctor.

Alice was following me like a puppy, asking questions non-stop, saying she could write some book about this.

Jester: "If you can get me a bite to eat I will tell you a story idea that is sure to be a hit"

Alice looked a skeptical but nodded and dragged me to the cafeteria. I ate some rice and a food that had potato.

Alice: "So what was your story idea?"

Jester after wiping my mouth I started telling her the story of Jason Bourne, and she was in love.

She begged me to become a writer, if I wasn't a government agent already.

We had great time together, and somehow she invited me to her home and one thing led to another we were in her bed, and I was giving her my all and more to please her. And after my seventh orgasm, I needed a long rest…

(10 seconds of rest refills the player's stamina bar in GTA)

(It's impossible to guess someone's age by their looks in the GTA San Verse. Since Jester told them he didn't remember how old he was, to get out of orphanages they could be thinking he was 25 years old)

Jester: "How was it?" I asked, honestly curious.

Alice was panting replied: "Amazing! I never knew my breasts were erogenous spots"

Jester: "Seriously?!"

Alice: "Yeah, why?"

Jester: "It's just that, I feel like I was a virgin before this…"

Alice: "No way that's possible. Excluding first and maybe the second, you definitely broke a record each time for keeping yourself from cumming the longest."

Jester: "Seriously?!"

Alice nodded: "Seriously"

Just then there was a noise from inside the house, Alice tightened her hold on me and started trembling, I tried to get up to control if there is a burglar inside, but she kept me from leaving.

Jester: "Alice dial the cops while I check to if it's a burglar"

Alice: "Please don't go, they'll kill you"

Jester: "Relax I'll just show them my mad karate skills and they shall run like the wind" I got up and silently, picked up the bat next to bed and crept inside the living room.

There wasn't anyone, I started searching every place someone could hide excluding the bedroom and found no one.

Shrugging I opened the freezer and got my self some cherry juice, then walked into the bedroom to find the girl I lost my virginity to.

She was shaking like a leaf while keeping her eyes closed, with a smile I crept into the bed and she went stiff as a rock from fear.

I started playing with her nipples, while pressing my 17 cm… chicken… to her backside, her breathing started to become labored, and she started biting her lips to keep from moaning… She wasn't having much success…

I nibbled her neck and slid my hand to her sweet palace, her reaction was instantaneous, her back arched and she loudly moaned. But kept her eyes closed, without even thinking I kissed her. That was my first French kiss.

The way she squirmed next to me while smelling deliciously, made my arousal reach to new heights. I don't think I could have been this patient normally. But right now I felt like it didn't really matter, only thing that matters to me is making her cum once more, then again, then again, till she begs me to fuck her, till she worships my cock.

(I have always been close to my instincts, also it should be noted that every male has the need to dominate his mate, to make her scream HIS name. Just look at hardcore porns. Just don't mix Hardcore and BDSM, in my opinion that is weird)

She started to rub her ass to my member, but I didn't stop to let it out.

Her juices drenched the already drenched bed, but I didn't stop.

She slowly opened her eyes and everything about her expression just screamed LUST and NEED for IT

Alice: " Fuck meehn" she moaned out

The sick pleasure I felt from those words were great, but not enough: " Beg for it!" I didn't yell, but the words struck her hard, I could see the battl- no I could see the war that was going on behind her eyes, she thought herself to be an independent woman.

A woman with an opinion, she wouldn't bow down to a man.

No matter how good his hands felt.

No matter how aroused he made her.

No matter how much she wanted it.

He could see her defenses were crumbling beneath the pleasure he was giving her.

He knew exactly what was going on her mind; she knew, she indeed would beg for it if given enough stimulations but she couldn't stop him.

All it would take was a little patience from his part.

Then he would make her beg for it!..

.

.

.

I woke up to the feeling of Sun hitting my barely existing abs feeling all-round great. Today was a good day, I could feel it on my loins… Oh, never mind that was just the girl I fucked into unconsciousness yesterday…

Life was good, and it could only be better with a better body…

As I am now there are too many dangers to my life, what if there really was a thief yesterday?

What would I have done?

Try to beat the guy into unconsciousness? Or maybe I would directly kill him…

Who am I kidding? I would go into shock with adrenaline pumping through my veins, my mind would be blank trying to find a way of getting out of that situation without fighting, without getting the police involved and without letting the thief get to Alice…

I really need to go to the GYM and learn some fighting style, and then I would decide what to do about my life…

.

.

.

After I woke Alice up(with an omelet), and we stuffed our stomach, I asked about a job.

Alice: "We are always in need of a few more paramedics"

Jester: "Don't I need a diploma for something like that?"

Alice: "Hahahaha"

Jester: "What's so funny?"

Alice: "While it's true you need to have some degree to be a true paramedic, you won't be the real deal"

Jester: "What?"

Alice: "Look humans die all the time, and everyone is fine with that. So from time to time we hire people to do some of the less dangerous jobs for us"

Alice: "All you need to do is place some money on the line and they will give you twice that amount for every person you bring to the hospital safe and sound"

Alice: "Rules are; don't lose the ambulance, don't pass the time limit you are on and don't let anyone die on your watch or you will be disqualified"

Jester: "I get it now, is the police force like that too?"

Alice shrugged: "Don't know, but you need someone to vouch for you either way. Cops would throw you into prison if you don't have someone to vouch for you."

Jester: "I don't know how to drive though"

Alice: "Seriously?!"

Jester: "Yep, didn't even rode a bicycle before so motors are out too"

Alice's expression turned suspicious: "You sure remember a lot more of your past today than yesterday, huh?"

I mentally cursed my big mouth and try to change the conversation by bringing an interesting subject, except I really don't know anything about her other than her name, her interest in writing and her love for my cock

Jester: "Our passionate night helped me heal?" I asked with a sheepish tone

Alice: "You remember who you are then? Tell me were you a super spy? An alien? Or simply a sex god?"

Jester: "Hmm, I shall choose sex god as long as you keep worshiping it…"

Alice's tan skin went red, her eyes were filled with arousal and shame.

I gave her what she wanted, made her feel like a true woman but the cost was too great for her pride.

The conflict in her eyes made me horny and the untied blue bathrobe I was wearing made it obvious to her.

My eyes never left hers as hers drifted through my body, while I don't have any lower body muscle, my arms and chest has some(though not as much as I would prefer) thanks to the dumbbells I brought years ago…

She obviously didn't like what she saw, but I am smart, have a big cock, have great stamina in bed, I am brave(I looked for the burglars yesterday) and made her breakfast.

She accepted me, but clearly had some doubts. But the important part is; she accepted me, it made me want to show her a taste of heaven as a reward.

She offered her place to stay, joking about needing a body guard with mad kung-fu skills to 'convince' me. Even though she knew I had no place to call home here, she didn't want to break my pride. It made me a little bit ashamed of my actions yesterday…

.

.

.

We made it to the hospital at 9 o-clock, it was considerably emptier than last night…

Alice: "You wait at the gate I'll talk to the others" I just nodded and stood in front of the gate

Not five minutes later, a black man with graying hair in paramedic clothes greeted me: "Hi, I'm Jack, I heard you were willing to take the challenge"

Jester: "I have some kind of amnesia, only remember my name and a few skills"

Jack: "What kinds of skills?"

Jester: "Well, when I sense danger I get into kick-boxing position, but I bet I was a beginner. Then there is the fact I don't know how to ride a bicycle or a car for that matter…"

Jack: "Alice said that too but I thought she was just joking. You really don't know how to drive?" Jack asked me incredulously.

Jester: "Don't think I had the chance…" I replied uncomfortably

Jack grinned: "We'll just have to fix it then. C'mon let's go get the ambulance and teach you how to drive"

Jester: "huh?" was the only response I had, before being dragged by Jack into an ambulance

Jack: "Now where to go, where to go…" He started muttering to himself while looking at a GPS, I didn't think there would be a GPS as this was 1997.(Alice's home was a short walk away from the hospital so she didn't activate it)

Jack: "I know lets go to the airport, that's the place my father thought me how to drive"

Jester: "Is it even legal to drive there?" but my question was ignored and I put on the seatbelt.

After a long drive, filled with Jack singing along to the radio songs we came to the airport and Jack somehow got permission to teach how to drive there.

Jack: "Alright buddy, look how easy it is" he made some drifts, and I finally realized the car had automatic gear(don't know if the wording is right, it was the best translation I could find on the net)

Jack: "Alright, now you drive" we changed seats and I was the one driving the ambulance, it was probably way simpler than my world's dimension's cars.

Jack: "Good you are handling the car pretty well. Now do some crazy moves" he had a crazed grin on his face, the kind you don't want turned against you.

I already started cursing myself for getting too lax, what if this guy is a serial killer?

I did some crazy moves as he told me, it was quite fun really.

There were some moves I could have done without, like taking off the ramp to get out of the airport faster, or hitting the cars on the highway when the ambulance fell.

But with instructions from Jack I learned some cool driving. Jack put the directions to the GPS and instructed me to how to open and close the sirens.

I silently drove to the location while Jack watched the sunset from the window. Seeing the lively old man silent was weird so I started a conversation.

Jester: "Penny for your thoughts?"

He didn't move his gaze from the sea: "When your lady goes quite, there is always some kind of trouble kid. Remember that" Then he got silent again…

I didn't have any response to that and continued driving…

.

.

.

Jack made me park the ambulance parking lot.

We moved through side roads towards a building that looked like a parking garage, but its entrance was too small to get a car inside so it could only house motorbikes.

It already had two motorbikes inside, but they weren't normal motorbikes. They were The fastest bikes GTA San had to offer…

Jack: "You didn't know how to drive a car, I thought you that and you learned very quickly. In fact you learned so quickly that I have a ton of free time on my hands." Here the vicious grin made a new appearance "Since you also said you didn't know how to drive a motorbike, I decided to teach you a thing or two about them." With that he threw me the keys of the black and red one, while he ignited the red and silver one.

Learning to drive a motorbike was very different than learning to drive a car. It was also much harder, but it probably had something to do with learning it on a race bike…

I learned how to drive a motor bike by midnight, and Jack forced me into a race of tag with him through the city to learn how to really drive. The rules were simple, the race wouldn't end until sun rise or if I take the lead and keep it till reaching the building we took the bikes. He even talked about giving me a prize if I could win the race by 4 AM(Sun usually rises at 5).

After awhile I took the lead and started the race back, Jack kept me on my toes all the time, but didn't take it. After awhile I realized he was leading me further away from the building, and took a risk by feinting a turn, he already angled his bike to a shortcut. Then I turned, the look of shock on his face almost made me start crackling, but I didn't, because I had a race to win. He must have seen my grin and he gave a similar one himself. One promised revenge. The race was brutal, and I lost the lead more times than I would like to admit, we also didn't stop till the gas tank emptied. Actually I don't think I could have stopped even if I wanted to, the race was so exhilarating that I couldn't do something so wrong. It felt like the times I fought on street, losing sucked but the feeling of hitting them at least once more than made up for them.

After refueling the bikes we got to a dinner, and started an eating contest.(Everything was on Jack of course, I didn't have any money on me) I won that easily. Even though I am on the skinny side, when I start eating there is no stopping me.

We parked the bikes inside the building and got on the ambulance, Jack insisted I drive, as he catched on some sleep before work...

The drive was silent, only sound in the car was Jack's snores and my breathing. Truth be told, I never could imagine myself in a situation like this. I could imagine the different decisions I would have made if I were the main character of a story, but I never could imagine me, myself as someone important.

Even though the possibility of me not being real is a likely, I am happy and that's all that matters.

I never liked my life, always filled with lies and deception.

I liked my family though, we were all unique, my older brother was… I don't even know what he does, but I knew he was successful. He even brought a Japanese girl home.

My older sister; a philosopher, she worked on radios while studying. There isn't anything else needed to say about her, she is too epic already.

My second oldest sister; she is a doctor of some kind, one who knew how to live. She… was the wild one in our family.

My Mother; the one who has the needed degree for opening a hairstylist saloon, the one who described the future with cards-math and more, the one that had her own program on TV…

Then there were the others; cousins, aunts etc.

They all were crazy(sometimes literally)…

But they were family, and I will miss them till tomorrow…

I don't really miss anyone, I mean I could teleport there when Siri get's better and they couldn't miss me if I came back one day…

I would go back one day. Just not today, or tomorrow, or… yep I don't plan to go back home for a long while…

That actually reminds me, how is Siri and how long would it take to delete all that crap.

It already took 2 days…

.

.

.

After parking the ambulance I left to find Alice, she was rightly pissed at me leaving without saying anything. But after some 'hands on' apology she forgave me and let me use the shower on the hospital, she then found me an unoccupied bed to sleep the day, as I was too tired to do anything else.

I slept like a rock, and only woke up when Alice splashed some water on me, instead of grumbling I swore vengeance by sex.

Before leaving I stole a doctor coat, Alice would be learning finer details of a medical degree tonight…

.

.

.

Today was another good day, or so my nurse says… Wait a second, the nurse is still unconscious because of the kinky, kinky sex we had last night...

Yep, nothing makes a man's morning like waking next to a hot chick you fucked into la-la land…

Wonder how she'll spend the day, even though this is her day-off I don't want to watch TV in GTA San Andreas. It would be like printing GTA character's faces on toilet paper, then taking a shit…

Not a thing a real fan would do, not a thing I want to do…

* * *

 **And that's it...**

 **This story probably will be a one-shit because I found a lot of plot holes after thinking about it in detail.**

 **I wrote this fic a few years ago and forgot about it... After rereading it a few times** **, fixing a lot of grammar mistakes it became a kinda-good-story and I wanted to share it with other people(you for example)...**

 **It still has some grammar mistakes and I gave my... okay not all but I spend some of my free time fixing them and there are still some mistakes I probably missed or ones I still don't know how to fix like the difference between ITS and IT'S... **

**One last thing, if you want me to continue writing this kinda-good-story then give me ideas, like commenting about Jester gaining Prototype's powers or Infamous's powers, since both of those realms powers are scientific(mostly at least)...**

 **I have three ending in mind for this story**

 **1) Siri gaining godlike power after assimilating the info it gained**

 **2) Siri is unable to fix itself and our main character is stuck in 3D GTA Realm(gta series has 3 realms; 2D, 3D and HD), he becomes the new boss in there, meets the protagonists etc.**

 **3) Same as 2 but Siri still gives Jester Chakra and Magic, Jester uses them to travel the Xover Verse without help from Siri and get into a lot of trouble since Siri was his main defense against facing dangers...**

Also

1) Naruto and Vi gone to a hentai realm because the pleasureable feelings are more intense, the sex in the Real World Realm gives more sensations than any other realm so it is hard to compare the two

2) Alice(the girl Jester fucked) thought sex with Jester was much better than others because;

A) People from higher Realms have slight reality bending powers and if they believe the girl they are fucking will have pleasure from getting her breasts then she will get pleasure from getting her breasts touched

B) People from from lower realm have a rhythm they have to follow while having sex but people from higher realms do not have that problem and they can hit the erogenous without stop, like button mashing. If you delay your orgasm the orgasm will be more powerful than normal...

C) People from lower Realm are one shoters because repeating the same thing would be boring but people from higher realm do not have that problem, they can go for round six easily after eating something, BUT since starvation from GTA San hurts the player instead of making him weaker or making him pass-out, people from higher realm can continue fucking like rabbit as long as they take care of their health bar...(Jester's is invisible, maybe it will be visible after Siri finishes integrates GTA San's powers to him)

YOU DECIDE!

3) People from lower realms don't get stuck on small details like cutting off work or crashing the car you work on(police car, ambulance etc.). I tried to give people some depth while trying to keeping them 'Lower Dimension Characters'. I also tried to make the world more realistic at first(like cars having locks etc.) but that could break the Grand Theft Auto experience we all love so decided to drop it...

4) IF, I repat IF, I continue this story shoud I allow Jester to use **CHEAT CODE** s?


End file.
